loss

Published December 6, 2013 by Yassmin Elnazer

To my beloved father soul may he rest in peace,Amen

After 10

0 days of loss you wake up to realize that it was not a nightmare ,that it is your worst reality mare,you realize that you did wake up but nothing changed,he is not there anymore,dad is in another world ,a world which I can’t travel to,no bus,no train,ship or plane can take me there,no telephones to hear his voice,the only method of communicating is praying for him,dreaming of him and trying to fulfill his every wish and will. How hard it is when you realize all you can do is just cry and no matter how much you cry,even if you cried an ocean it wouldn’t work,what hurts the most is you being unable not to stop crying knowing and remembering very well that dad asked me not to cry when I miss him ,it hurts not being able to stop those tears that even burn your hurt more and you understand very well that they burn in his soul too.Looking around,changing places,even working or studying or even writing won’t help either cause memories are in every corner,between the lines written :I can hear his voice asking me to study or explaining something or examining me in something,I can see his face smiling proud of me every time I was on TV or my photo was in a magazine or something,his voice saying publish another book in Arabic this time,he was proud of us me and my brother,proud of how he raised us and we were and are the proudest of all that we’re his kids carrying his name,his knowledge,thoughts and a piece of his soul.My father is alive around us everywhere,in our hearts,in every second of our lives that we shared with him,he is alive in every patient GOD chose for him to be a way of cure to,in every thing he fought for to correct and every corruption he stopped and correct,our loss is non curable,yet, for his memory we shall keep going working,studying,and I shall keep on writing,for you dad.

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